my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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