2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
