i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
