my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
