Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize