I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
