I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
