Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
