Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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