An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
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Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
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correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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