True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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