Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
