ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
