This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
