you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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