Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
