So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
