i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
