Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
