Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
