what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
