no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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