It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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