I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
