Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There are leaves in my underwear?
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