Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
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My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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