what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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