If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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