i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
