If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize