if only i could text you this smell
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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