Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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