i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she peed on how many people?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
YAS. BRING CRAB.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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