Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
