I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
