I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
