Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is Oprah even human
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
