i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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