Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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