can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
