what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
