you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
