I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
