He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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