Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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