i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This beer is not sobering me up at all
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
