is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
