well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
