There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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