wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
