wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So many bounce houses so little time
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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