Can i not drive my cunt home
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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