You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
