I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
