I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
