I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
