I hate your face
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
