Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
