You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
