Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
