North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
