i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
